


Last Christmas.

by Lizphills500



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Date, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Hurt Loki, Hurt Steve, M/M, Mistletoe, Misunderstandings, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, One Shot, Real locations, Tony's Pranks, Wham-Last Christmas, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizphills500/pseuds/Lizphills500
Summary: Loki gave his heart to Steve, but believed that the Captain played him for a fool.  A year later, can Steve sort it out while there is still a chance for them or are they over before they've begun?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShallowGenePool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShallowGenePool/gifts).



> Based loosely on Whams Last Christmas. This is my contribution to the holiday sprite. I have not drawn out the conversations as I wanted this to be a short one shot.
> 
> Thank you again to ShallowGenePool for Bata reading for me. Merry Christmas Fandom Husband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to post this on the relevant days, so there will be a few days between chapters

Loki growled at Thor as he grabbed onto his arm. Thor was trying to drag him towards his front door, to get him to leave on time.

“Come Loki, you have always attended the party and enjoyed it too, I’ll wager.” The cheery God of Thunder said, his face clearly full of the season's spirit.

Loki scowled but said nothing, digging in his heels, figuratively. He knew he was being stubborn but he wanted to avoid the Avengers this year, one of them in particular.

For the last 5 years, between the Asgardian tradition of Yule and New Year celebrations, the Avengers and Loki called an unofficial truce. It started the year after Loki had been exiled to Earth following his trial. Thor hated that he and his brother were on different sides, so he had begged and cajoled both Loki and the other Avengers until this truce was agreed. Loki and the Avengers' relationship during most of the year was them trying to stop Loki's mischief, but between 21st and 31st of December they were almost friends and Loki was even a regular at the Avengers Christmas party which was held on the 23rd, partly for Thor’s little Christmas tradition and partly so it didn’t interfere with plans the Avengers may have had with family. This year however, Loki didn’t want to attend, much to Thor’s confusion. 

Loki pulled his arm free. “I do not wish to attend this year’s mindless festivities. There is nothing there to amuse me. I will honour our truce for your sake, but you will not persuade me to spend time with the Avengers.”

Thor looked like a crestfallen child. “But Loki. It is the one time we can be together with our friends. Even Barton is willing for this one evening. The Captain is keen to see you again, you have avoided him the last twelve months.”

At the mention of Steve, Loki walls came up higher than before. “I have no interest in seeing any of your friends. You have learnt nothing even after all these years. Just because they are your friends doesn’t make them mine. I have tolerated them but this year I chose not to. You may return here after your revels as always, but I shall not participate in their frivolities.”

Thor had learnt much over the last few years. He could see that nothing he could say would sway his brother and that it would be risky to make the attempt. Pushing Loki too far would simply make his more frustrated and he could possibly break the truce. This would cause problems not just this year but in years to come and that he wished to prevent at all costs. Thor stepped away from Loki and bade him farewell before leaving to attend the party, leaving Loki alone in his apartment to his thoughts.

 

An hour later, Loki was sulking to himself, it had been years since he spent Yule alone and he didn’t like it. He knew Thor would return but he was going to be drunk and incoherent, given that he would have almost certainly brought Asgaudian ale with him for the party again this year.

Loki tried not to think about the party, the lights, the colours, the pranks he could pull on the smug Stark and looking at the Captain while he thought the other man wasn’t looking. The last thought caused his heart to beat a little faster and his mind travelled back twelve months.

 

Flashback. Twelve months earlier.

The Avengers tower had been decked out for Christmas the way only Tony knew how. Over every inch of the penthouse was lights, tinsel and green and red bows. The tree itself was a massive real fir that Tony had imported for Norway. It seemed to have had more of Pepper's influence in its decoration, being more subtle decked out in golds, sliver and reds. Even the outside was covered, as Tony had the lights around the A and everywhere else on the building, flash in multiple festive colours and fake snow on the roofs.

The area by the window was being used as the dance floor. There were already couples dancing, including Tony and Pepper. Clint had even been seen strutting his stuff, but everyone hid the smirks behind their hands. Loki, of course, didn't dance. His mother ensured that he could, but wasn't comfortable with the informal way the mortal preferred. Still, he enjoyed watching, particularly when a certain individual was on the floor.

The Party had been in full swing for a good two hours and Loki had decided it was time to make his customary withdrawal. He didn’t leave until it was time to take Thor to his bed, but when the drinking games started he always found a small alcove from where he could watch without being disturbed. Loki rarely drank and certainly never to excess, but others such as Thor and Stark seemed to consider it a failure if they could still walk straight at the end of the evening.

Loki also felt a little overwhelmed at times. Tonight, he had eaten and drunk with the Avengers and members of SHIELD’s upper circle, including Fury and had enjoyed himself. He had only started to attend these parties to keep Thor from nagging him into insanity. Even this evening he had given a token protest but that had been all. He had wanted to come. The Truce held over Christmas, but Loki had begun dropping in to the tower as it suited him (which was becoming more and more often), to talk and find some company with the Avengers, who where the only ones in this realm truly willing to allow him into their lives. Still he couldn’t forget that a few days ago, these people were his enemies and would be again a week from now. 

Tony’s penthouse suite had a large set of stairs, under which Loki found a small sofa and a table with some fruit juice. He turned and caught the eye of Pepper who smiled at him. Loki nodded gratefully, took a seat and poured himself a drink.

Loki enjoyed the time to himself, watching the party. He had been joined by Pepper for a little bit and later by Natasha. Tony seemed to have done something that was making him laugh and Loki wondered what was going on, but wasn’t interested enough to leave his refuge to find out.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Steve bolted under the stairs, looking over his head. He seemed satisfied that whatever he was looking for wasn’t there and turned to see Loki. He met the other man’s eye who gestured for him to sit down, which Steve accepted.

“Are you well, Captain? You seem unsettled.” Loki asked, an amused look on his face.

Steve shook his head then smiled. “It’s nothing, just one of Tony’s jokes. I was hoping I could hide here for a bit.”

Loki smiled, happy to have the Captain's company, for more reasons then one. “Of course. It has been too long since we last talked.” Loki enjoyed spending time with Steve, a man who was like him, was stranded on a world that was still a little alien to him.

“That would be because you like keeping us are toes with your pranks.” Steve said, less cheerfully. “Have you ever considered giving it up? The mischief I mean. It would help with your position on Earth and would make people happy, Thor in particular.”

“I am not here to keep my brother happy. I am sentenced to this realm for the rest of my days, I must do something to amuse myself. I don’t think I wish to try my hand at your forms of recreation just yet.” Loki replied.

“No, I can’t see you in a hobby class. But what about doing something to help on Earth, you have skills the world can benefit from. You could help us. It's not like you’re the hated villain anymore.” Steve pushed.

“My dear Captain, you said all this last year and as tempting an offer it seems to you, I do not wish to be part of the Avengers. You have nothing I want.” Loki said in a slightly dismissive tone. This wasn’t really true, there was something the Avengers had that Loki wanted, something he had yearned to have from the second he laid eyes on it. He glanced at the Captain, wondering what was going on in his mind.

Steve was watching him thoughtfully. He took a deep breath and said. “Loki, there has been something I wanted to say for a while now, but it’s hard, given everything we've been through. And I don’t want you to think in saying this because of what we’ve just talked about, okay.”

Loki looked confused. This wasn’t what he had expected at all. “I understand. I take it this is serious matter.”

“It is.” Steve edged a little closer and Loki felt his heart race. “Loki, you know that I’ve come to think of you as a friend. A friend who spends fifty weeks of the year making my life hell, but a friend all the same.”

Loki nodded. “I do and feel the same.”

“Well, I want more. I watch you when we fight and I enjoy us talking, but I need to know if there is a chance for us to became us.” Steve reached out to take Loki's hand.

Loki felt stunned. This couldn’t be happening, Steve couldn’t really want him. Loki had been attracted to Steve since their first fight in Stuttgart. An attraction that had become deeper the more time he spent with Steve. But he had never imagined that Steve would be attracted to him as well.

“Steve, I……I would like more. But you have never shown any sign that you have any romantic interest in me.” Loki replied, searching Steve’s eyes for any deception.

Steve looked away for a moment before meeting Loki’s eyes again. “Like I said, it’s hard. It's taken me a little while to come to terms with fact that I want to take another man to bed. Then there is the fact that I don’t know when I’m going to see you. But I know what I feel, how I feel about you and I want to know you better.”

Loki narrowed his eyes, looking for the falsehood, but the one thing he knew about Steve was that he was firstly an honest man. His heart sang a little but kept his reply calm. “I accept. I believe it is the custom to ‘date’ a person you wish to become romantically involved with before you become intimate.”

Steve smiled and Loki thought the light in the room increased in intensity as a result. “I would love that, but there is something I want to do right now.” And before Loki could say anything else, he wrapped his arms around Loki and pulled him in close. He looked at Loki for a moment, seeing if he backed away, before dropping his lips to Loki's.

Loki’s head was in a spin the second Steve's mouth touched his own. There was passion in Steve's kiss for all its gentleness and it overwhelmed Loki for a moment. Then he was kissing Steve back, hoping that his own passion was coming over just as clearly. Neither knew which one opened their mouth first, but they were soon exploring each other’s mouth with their tongues. After a minute, they broke apart but quickly found the others eyes.

“Ummm, I…..Ummmm.” Steve stuttered, not sure of what to say.

Loki smiled and then laughed a little. “I will take your inability to form speech as a compliment.” 

Steve laughed himself. “That was amazing. I really think we can make this work and………..”

“CAPSICLE.” Tony’s slightly drunk voice echoed around the room. Steve groaned and Loki smiled again.

“Go, before Stark comes looking for you. It would be better if he didn't find you like this. I would feel more comfortable with keeping this between us, until we are certain.” Loki suggested.

Steve smiled and nodded, “Not forever mind you. I want everyone to know and I don't give a dam what they say. I’ll go sort out Tony then I’ll be back”

With that, Steve stood and went in search of Tony. Loki couldn’t remember that last time he felt so happy. For the first time in centuries he was getting his heart’s desire and it was wonderful. He was certain that not even Thor could spoil this moment for him. He, of course, had been wrong.

 

Thor found Loki under the stairs five minutes after Steve had left. The man was clearly drunk and slurring his words. “Lokiiiiiiiiii, you are my my my Brother and you should him hide heeeere. I would have you joining the re re re re re ……….. the fun. Come drink with me.”

Thor dragged Loki to the bar and forced a glass into his hand. Loki turned to hand the drink to a nearby waiter when he was met with a sight that froze his heart cold. Steve was standing in the centre of the room, kissing Natasha. His hands were wrapped around her wrists, as her hands were resting on his shoulders.

Loki was sure he could hear his heart break. Steve wasn’t the honourable man Loki had been led to believe, he was a philanderer, no better than Fandral and it would seem Loki was to be his next conquest. The God wanted to march over to the whore and rip his lying tongue out with his bare hands, but it would likely result in Loki being locked up in The Hulk's cell again. After all, who would believe him over the great Captain America.

Without a second glance, Loki dropped the glass where it smashed to pieces and vanished, slinking away to heal his damaged pride.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve visits Loki and the truth finally comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In memory of George Michael, taken from us too young.
> 
> I have to say that 2016 has been a shocking year and lets hope 2017 is a better one.

Present day. Boxing day

Loki had spent the last year alone, Thor being the only person he saw. No one else knew where he lived and he had made Thor swear an oath not to reveal the location of his apartment. He stopped his visits to the tower and even cut down his pranks just so he could avoid the Avengers. The other villains infuriated him and so he avoided them as well. It was a year of loneliness and a little regret too. He couldn't forget his feelings for Steve, but buried them deep.

Thor returned at the end of the party, blind drunk, so drunk in fact Loki had been surprised that his brother had managed to get home on his own. When he surfaced the following morning, groaning through his hangover, Loki provided him with breakfast and pleasant company for holiday period. Thor then returned to Asgard to see Odin and Frigga for the Yule celebrations.

As a result, Loki was surprised when there was a knock at his door. He opened the door and found the one person he really didn’t want to see. Steve was holding a white box in his hand and a slightly embarrassed look on his face.

Loki growled. “Captain, how did you find me? Thor would not risk breaking his oath.”

Steve looked to his feet. “He hasn’t, at least not knowingly. He couldn’t walk straight after the party and I offered to make sure he got home okay. It was the only way I could think of to see you, given you’ve ignored me the last year.”

“Well it looks I shall be moving, so if you excuse me, I must pack.” Loki snapped and tried to shut the door, but Steve blocked it with his arm and pushed his way in. Loki knew he could have simply pushed the super soldier out again with little effort, but something stopped him.

Steve looked around Loki’s simply decorated living room and then turned back to Loki. “What happened? What did I do wrong? I was fairly certain we were both on the same page the last time we talked, but you had gone by the time I got back and Thor couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me why or how I could find you. I think I deserve an explanation if nothing else Loki.”

Loki snorted. “What you deserve Captain, is not permitted in this realm. I have no interest in being the next in line for your bed, to be abandoned when something better becomes apparent. You may have fooled me for a moment, but I now see all.”

Steve looked confused, he put down the box and took a few steps closer to Loki. “I don’t understand. Where is this coming from? Loki, my bed has been very much empty for a very long time, ninety years in fact. I don’t know who has been telling you this stuff, but I promise you it’s a lie. There is no else.”

“I have needed no tales from others, the truth I saw with my own eyes. I saw that not ten minutes after asking me to be a part of your life, you were kissing the Widow. I do not share and will not be made a fool of. You have your woman, enjoy her warmth and leave me in peace.” Loki turned away, afraid that his emotions would spin out if control and make him do something stupid. He couldn’t be sure that if he allowed Steve close to him, he could resist taking what he wanted so badly.

It took several moments for Steve to process what Loki had said, mostly as it was the last thing he had expected to hear. He tried to rack his brain to think what he was talking about, until the truth hit him like a truck.

Steve’s face became blank, as if he was trying to force himself not to be angry. “Loki. Inside that box is a gift for you. I’ve tried to do something that fits with your traditions, because I wanted to learn about what makes you, you. It might be a good idea for you to do the same and not take everything you see on face value. Ask your brother about mistletoe on Earth, see what he tells you.”

Steve reached into his packet and pulled out an envelope. “Don’t open this unless you are willing to give us another chance. If you decide not, then burn it. I’ll know either way. I hope you are willing to trust me Loki or there is no point to any of this.”

Steve put the envelope on the table next to the box and left the apartment, leaving Loki alone with his thoughts once more. He waited until he was completely alone before he went to the box and opened it. Inside was what looked like a fruit cake drizzled with a thin layer of white water icing. Steve knew that Loki had a sweet tooth and had baked for him. He never imagined that Steve would do something so thoughtful. It contradicted everything he had convinced himself of over the last year. Loki picked up the cake, sniffed it and caught the aroma of honey and figs, which were traditional foods stuffs given during Yule.

Steve, it seemed had been true to his word and looked up traditions that were closest to his own Asgardian ones. Loki eyes fell on the envelope, before casting it from the table with a sweep of his hand. Steve hadn’t made any excuses for his behaviour nor begging Loki’s forgiveness for his transgression and Loki simply refused to consider it acceptable. It would take more than a cake to make things right between them.

 

Thor returned to Earth the next day. As they had done in previous years, Thor spent the few days left of the Truce with Loki in his apartment. Loki still spent a fair amount of time brooding over what Steve had said.

Most of him was still convinced that Steve had attempted to play him the fool, but a small part was telling him that Steve wasn’t that type of person. He wasn’t Tony or Thor, who jumped from bed to bed, never caring about the mess they left behind. Steve was loyal to his friends and teammates and that loyalty should have applied to his relationships too.

Finally, on the 30th of December Loki gave in to the little part.

“Thor.” Loki asked as they were sitting together after their meal. “I seem to have missed parts of the Christmas tradition that the mortals partake in.”

Thor looked up, surprised that Loki would come to him for information on life on Earth. He would normally ask Natasha or Steve, but then Loki hadn’t talked to any of them since last Christmas.

“The Midgardians certainly seem to enjoy this holiday. It is meant to mark the birth on the son of another god. I wonder if father has had dealings with this being.” Thor replied, happy to pass on his knowledge that Tony had told him.

Loki bit his tongue. He knew better then Thor where Christmas came from and that the god many of the humans worshiped had not revealed himself to anyone, let alone the Allfather.

“I understand the holiday itself, but there as the little things that I do not fathom. Let me make an example. Mistletoe. Someone mentioned it in my presence and given that it is not a popular plant on Asgard, I can’t help wonder where it fits in their festivities.”

Thor shrugged. “The plant is very popular here. the Midgardians hang branches from different places on the ceiling and in doorways. If you stand beneath with another, it is customary to kiss. It is good natured and rarely taken seriously. Only The Captain seems to avoid this practice where possible.”

Loki was narrowed his eyes. This couldn’t have anything to do with Steve he had been in the middle of the room and there were no doorways or low ceiling for Mistletoe to be hung from. Thor continued talking.

“Stark was determined last year to catch the Captain with some mistletoe. He had attached some of his thrusters to a large branch and had it following the poor man around the room until he received a kiss. He evaded it for a time and seemed to hide, but I am told Stark would not give in. The Captain was becoming frustrated so the Lady Widow took pity on him and kissed him under it, which annoyed him more. I am given to understand that while he does not blame the Widow, he made his objections very clear to Stark when his head was very vulnerable the following day.” Thor laughed a little at the memory of Steve ducking and diving, trying to hide from Tony’s laser guided mistletoe, as well of the image of Steve pushing Nat away kindly after the kiss.

Loki suddenly found that the food on his plate made him feel sick to his stomach, He couldn’t believe what he had been told, but the ring of truth was there now that he knew. Steve had been cornered by a prank and was being rescued by Natasha. Thinking back, Loki remembered that Steve had said he was hiding from something the billionaire had done, right at the beginning of their talk. If this was indeed true, then Loki had really been the fool, blaming Steve for baseless accusations. He could have spent the last year wrapped up in Steve's arms rather than sulking over an imagined slight.

The situation hadn’t been helped by Loki being a coward and not facing Steve. This could have been resolved had he talked to Steve rather than running away. Now there was a rift that would need to be healed if they were to have any chance of success.

“Brother, are you well? You seem pale.” Thor asked, looking concerned.

Loki looked as his brother, remembering that he was still there. “I will be well, I am sure. However, there is something I must find.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki reads Steve's letter and makes his decision.

It took Loki nearly an hour to find the envelope Steve had left behind. He opened it quickly and found a letter, which Steve had clearly intended to post if he didn’t find Loki at home.

_Dear Loki._

  
_I’m going to say straight away that these last twelve months have been hell as usual, but for very different and personal reasons. When I came back, you had simply vanished and all I could get out of Thor was drunk rambling, most of which he didn’t remember in the morning. Don’t blame him, either, for me finding you. I followed him home the night of the party._

_Loki, I don’t know what happened to upset you or why it made you avoid me this year, but I want you to know that my feelings haven’t changed and if there is anything I can do to make things right again, all you need to do is tell me. I have missed you so much and will do almost anything, although nothing illegal or immoral and not one of your pranks. I just don’t want our first kiss to be our last._

_Inside the box is your Christmas present. It’s not a lot and you might think it’s beneath you, but I wanted to give you something that was close to your celebrations._

_As for the rest, I’m going out on a limb here. I have called in a few favours with the City and they have let me use Litchfield Villa in Brooklyn on New Year’s Eve from nine. We would have the entire place to ourselves for the whole evening and we could watch the fireworks at from the balcony on roof. Nothing will happen, if you don’t want, just talking or looking at the fireworks. But please Loki, come. I need to see you. I need to understand._

_Hopefully still yours,_

_Steve._

 

 

New Years Eve. 

It was eleven thirty on the 31st of December when Loki arrived at Litchfield Villa. It was an old place, compared to the modern buildings that surrounded the park, but for Loki it was perfect and set just the right mood. He couldn't be sure that Steve would be here, but he guessed he would be, given that he left the letter. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, then pulled on the front door.

Loki found Steve on the balcony that led off from the Master Bedroom. The view was of Prospect Park and was beautiful. A table had been set up, with a pair of Champagne flutes and some strawberries. Steve was stand with his back to the windows, looking up to the sky.

He must have known Loki had arrived because he said. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

Loki looked to the floor before he replied. “I had a lot to think about and I wasn’t sure if you would come, after everything that has happened.”

Steve turned around. “I left you the letter.”

Loki gave a nervous smile. "Which is why I’m here.”

Steve nodded and picked up one of the glasses, taking a sip. It didn’t matter that the alcohol wouldn’t affect him, he wanted the taste anyway. Loki watched for a moment then did the same.

Steve waited until he met Loki’s eye and said. “Did you find out what happened that night?”

“I did. Captain, we don’t have mistletoe on Asgard and we certainly don’t have a custom where you kiss people because you are under a plant, but I do understand now what I saw before. and I am sorry I ran rather than talking to you.” Loki said, his voice shaking a little. “What I do not understand is why you did not explain it to me a few days ago, in my apartment. Wouldn't that have been simpler?”

Steve smiled a thin smile that didn't reach his eyes. “Would you have believed me? You already had your mind made up about my intentions and could easily thought it was simply an excuse. I hoped that if Thor told you the story, there was more chance you would take his word.”

Loki looked, knowing that the other man was right, he would never have accepted the truth had Steve been the once telling the story. When he didn’t say anything, Steve returned to looking at the sky, waiting for the fireworks to start.

Loki decided that a neutral topic would be helpful right now. “This is a beautiful building, Captain.”

Steve turned to look at Loki again. He noted that Loki hadn't used his first name since he had arrived, but let it go. “I always used to draw it when I was growing up. Of course, it was a lot more run down then, but someone had the whole place renovated a couple of years ago. When I was looking for somewhere for a romantic, solitary place, it screamed out to me. I hoped you would approve.”

“You would have had to made these arraignments before your holidays began. You had no idea if you would be able to contact me. It was quite a risk you took.” Loki thought out loud.

Steve smiled again, this time a little warmer. “Let’s say, I was betting on following Thor, he does normally rely on you getting him home.”

Loki smiled as well. “I am glad you did.”

Steve looked at Loki sharply. “Do you mean that? Really mean it, not because you feel guilty or anything?”

“I do, Captain...... Steve. Part of my frustration came from the fact that even though I believed you were playing me false, I wanted to be with you. I avoided the Avengers because I did not think I could resist being tempted by you. Now that I know the truth, I am more than willing to continue as we had planned, despite a year late. I do understand however, if you do not feel the same.”

Steve came closer. “I wouldn’t have left the letter, if I didn’t still want you. I know that because of your past you have trouble trusting, but I promise you, that as long as we are together, I will be completely faithful. I want us to move forward. I don’t want to simply gloss over what has happened, but I don’t think it needs to make things harder for us.”

Loki let out a contented sign. He closed the distance between them and as the fireworks filled the sky, marking midnight, he pressed his lips to Steve's, ready to put Last Christmas behind them for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what the inside of the Villa looks like which is why I haven't included a description.
> 
> Feedback as always welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback as always welcome.


End file.
